on one hand, izumi's surprised that sandalphon is able to swallow his pride and decides to reach out to him on his own volition. the fact that he made coffee for him again is a good sign -
but izumi's already occupied with his own bitterness, to the point where he's choosing to hole up in his room for today instead of going out to the city and avoid his submissive throughout the day. the music from the ipod he'd brought with him from back home contrasts with the static in his mind, but it's better than nothing.
so no, he's putting him on read and he's not even sorry. because why should he care now? ]
[Sandalphon figures Izumi isn't going to come running right away, so he's willing to wait a while. The coffee gets cold, but that's fine.
But after two hours of waiting, he's had enough, so he gets to his feet, starts a fresh batch of coffee, and goes to get his Dominant. Unsurprisingly, the door to his room is locked; leaving it open would make avoiding someone difficult. And really, the polite thing to do is knock, but what if he just ignores that, too?
So Sandalphon does the first thing that comes to mind, something Izumi can't possibly ignore, grasps the doorknob, and gives it a good, solid yank.
Primal beasts are strong. Even just a hug can be enough to trap a mortal in their arms with no chance of escape. So the door pops right off its hinge, and Sandalphon drops it like it's so much garbage on the ground, his other hand holding a cup of coffee as nonchalantly as he always is.]
...Izumi. Don't make me ask you again.
[Despite his aggressive wording, there's no hint of a threat in his voice. He just sounds tired.]
[ the unmistakable sound of wood break has gotten his attention, all right. izumi abruptly sits up on his bed, staring incredulously at the figure of nonchalance before him, the fragrant scent of coffee bringing back warm memories.
then he says his name and izumi remembers why the fuck he's mad at him in the first place.
he glares at sandalphon, fists clenched; he knows that he's definitely no match for a primal beast who can rip him a new one with little to no effort, but by god does izumi want to deck him even if it'll rightfully kill him. ]
...I don't have any reason to speak with you. Get out.
[ no matter which way he looks at it, he's completely powerless against his own submsisive that it's pathetic. why won't sandalphon just leave him and his worthless pride be? ]
Then listen instead. You don't have to say anything.
[He'd been hoping this would go better, but...this is about how it always goes, isn't it. Even when he tries to make himself understood, there's a gap between himself and others that he can't quite surmount...
Last time, he gave up, and everyone suffered for it. So maybe this time...]
...I owe you an apology. Will you at least let me give it to you?
[ he's shaking. this.. this is unfair, he's supposed to apologize first but his pride simply wouldn't let him until the very last minute -- ]
Everything that happened back then was my fault, so why the hell are you apologizing for that? Didn't you realize that I went too far?
[ ...of course he did, which was why he wanted izumi to stop and set him free, but even now he couldn't do that. making him apologize is like trapping him in a decision he had no choice in, and isn't that like a prison in itself?
he looks down on the spot on the bed, sounding utterly defeated. ]
...It's fine. This is going to be our last month anyway. You'll be rid of me before you know it.
[Sandalphon hesitates, unsure how to handle a conversation like this from this side of it. Only a short while ago he'd been telling Izumi not to behave too much like Lucifer, but...now that he thinks about it, he should have taken his own advice.
But he wanted to make up with Izumi more than he wanted another wound between himself and someone he knows to fester, because - ]
...I'm here apologizing to you because I don't want to be rid of you.
[Because without even realizing it himself, he'd come to appreciate just existing in the same building as Izumi when they both home. He didn't realize he liked it so much until this tension between them developed.
He's lost the relationship he treasured above all else; anything that might have been there between Lucifer and himself had died long before the supreme primarch did. He doesn't want this one to end in similarly disastrous fashion.]
[ his eyes widen at that, looking up at sandalphon in disbelief. while he's his usual self around his peers at yumenosaki, he'd made sure not to get too close to anybody else while he's here in duplicity for professional and emotional reasons; his heart still belongs to two people and that should be enough for him.
he just didn't expect it to crack again with someone else. he'd only agreed to this contract in the first place out of convenience, and yet -- ]
And what, all of a sudden you care about me now?! Why do you even want to stay with me when I can't even take care of you properly like I promised you when we first met?
[ granted, that promise was just a jest at the time to butter sandalphon up, but the difference between acting a role for a stupid performance and right now is immense. izumi's has grown to tolerate the angel's quirks and imperfections over these past few months, and he'd greatly miss him too when their contract expires -- no, he wouldn't want him to leave either if he can help it.
but if he couldn't even protect and love the ones he'd cared for so long, he can't possibly do the same thing to someone who's not even human in the first place. ]
There's nothing sudden about it! You understand the concept of lying, don't you?! I just wanted to hurt you, because you hurt me first, and I...
[He said the worst thing he could think of. And it worked far better than he ever could have imagined.
The sound of Izumi choking back sobs, the feeling of his body trembling with sadness, it's all too vivid to ever forget, no matter how much he'd like to.]
...It doesn't matter if you can take care of me or not. That's never been what this is about for me. But...you were right, when you told me that no one has ever wanted to do that for me in the first place. Even most of the crew of the airship I'm staying with in the Sky Realm see me as the man who nearly destroyed their world before anything else. As well they should.
[The corners of his eyes prickle with heat, and he does his best to ignore it.]
...But even knowing about all that, you still wanted to take care of me. And that's all I needed. That's why I want to stay here with you, even after what happened at the fort.
[He's so selfish, so starved for affection, that he ate it up.]
Because even addled as you were, you were thinking of me.
[ he is speechless for a moment as he listens to sandalphon's explanation, the frustration shown in his face beginning to fade only to be replaced with one more heavy feeling - remorse. ]
...That side of me - you weren't supposed to see that. Because that's how I used to treat Yuu-kun all those months ago. [ tying him down, locking him up in the school for days, forcing him to eat after leaving him there to starve - it wasn't a good time. ] I almost ruined the reputation of my unit after that, and even now it still chases me in the form of interviews and the like. The only reason why he even forgave me was because he was too kind.
[ he really would've gone to prison and lost his credibility as an idol and a model, two careers that mean too much to him. as much as being an idol fucking sucked for everyone, it gave him a purpose. ]
The truth is... I felt a certain kinship with you when we met again on that app, and once again during the holidays. And I was right -- you remind me so much of the people I've failed, and even though they're both here in this messed-up city, it still feels like I can't reach them.
[ leo already likes someone else, and makoto wants to keep a respectful distance from him so as not to get hurt again. izumi just can't win. ]
...People like us aren't alone. I wish to prove that to you, and it's why I want you to let me in.
[ because people who don't have blood on their hands, metaphorical or otherwise, wouldn't understand. ]
[Sandalphon finally enters the room, giving a glance over at the splintered wood on the threshold as though he isn't the one who demolished it in the first place, and sits next to Izumi on his bed, careful not to spill any of the coffee he's holding.]
...The last time I was tied up, it was to hold me in place while the Astrals tortured me. It didn't matter what I did to appease them, or whether I fought back...for all our power, we primal beasts were nothing more than playthings for our sadistically curious creators when they didn't need us to serve our purposes.
[Sandalphon's expression tightens, the corners of his mouth turning downward.]
And of course, as I already told you...I was never needed.
[He stares at his coffee cup like he's searching for the mysteries of the universe in it - anything to avoid eye contact. He doesn't want to insult Izumi's intelligence by clarifying that that's why he was so upset about the whole thing at the fort, but there's another reason he's talking about this, too.]
...That's the kind of baggage you'll be picking up. If you're really so determined, then I'll let you show me that resolve of yours. But if you have even a shadow of doubt about this, then forget about what I want and move on without me.
[It hurts a lot more than he anticipated to even imagine that, but it's only fair he tell Izumi what he's getting into.]
[ he watches him stare into his cup, mulling over his words and his own thoughts as he finally takes off the earphones and putting the ipod aside. this is all so much for him to take though, on top of everything else. ]
Jeez, it's like the fate of the entire world is in my hands now. I don't remember this in the contract we signed.
[ he sounds exasperated, but a wry smile shows that he's... not too fed up with this generic shonen manga plot. after all, leo had thought that no one else wanted him either.
izumi's not going to make the same mistake of running him through the ground either. ]
I told you not to underestimate me, didn't I? [ his hand reaches to close around sandalphon's free hand, squeezing it. ] I can't give you a purpose because you should be the one to find it on your own, but... I'll guide you through it. You don't have to spend a thousand more years on your own.
And only if you'll allow me, though. I'm too prideful, I'm never easily satisfied with anything, and I'm not a all-powerful being like you. I just want to be acknowledged like the knight that I am, even if I'm only acting like it... But even so, are you really willing to put up with me for just a little longer?
[ most people would've given up by now, he and his exceptionally high standards. he's going to continue being mean to sandalphon since that's just how he treats everyone, but apart from leo he just can't imagine anyone else who'd stick by him until he dies young like he always wanted. ]
[Sandalphon gives a start as Izumi takes his hand, clearly not expecting it. He's not the kind of person that people are inclined to want to hold hands with, after all; he's prickly, abrasive, bitter to his core.
But so is Izumi, so if anyone were going to reach for his hand like this, it may as well be him.
He hangs his head as he laces their fingers together, squeezing Izumi's hand just enough to be felt; he puts his mug of coffee on the floor and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. He wants to tell him how stupid he's being by agreeing to this, but he can't find the words. Because Sandalphon himself is just as stupid by asking a mortal to care for him in the first place.
When he responds, his voice is heavy with emotion. He really wasn't expecting Izumi to agree to stay with him.]
You really are a fool. It's not putting up with someone if they enjoy your company.
[It's not the same thing as admitting he enjoys Izumi's company.
[ it's totally not. izumi doesn't need him to admit any of that sappy stuff; he just knows. it's rare to meet someone who's on the same wavelength as you, so of course he's not going to let him go.
just like how he didn't expect sandalphon to stick by him either, while sounding choked up all about it too. izumi doesn't feel like he himself deserve to see this side of him, but -
he shows a small smile, almost cheeky, before leaning forward to meet his lips with a kiss that's a bit too soft and sweet for both their liking. with some of the guilt lifted from izumi's shoulders now that they've reconciled, they could both use some gentleness with each other's bodies after everything they've been through in the fort and the journey back home.
so he shifts closer until he's sitting on the primal's lap, both hands on his shoulders as he deepens the kiss a bit more - he could get obsessed with this honestly, together with the scent of fresh coffee always present in the air. ]
[Sandalphon murmurs in contentment against Izumi's lips, reaching up to cup his face with his hands. He's missed this so much, and it's only occurring to him now just how much he did.
It's not like they had sex every day before their falling out or anything, but after it happened and things grew distant between them, not even having the option to seek him out for comfort or conversation had been indescribably lonely. Now that they're on speaking terms again, Sandalphon wants to make sure to keep it that way - for the contract's sake, and for his own selfish desire for Izumi to want him around. So this time, he doesn't get impatient; he doesn't try to move things along quickly or get rough, the way he usually does.
This time, he follows his Dominant's lead, returning the kiss just as sweetly, tongue moving languidly against Izumi's and stroking his cheek with his thumb.]
[ at least izumi's made himself busy after coming back to the city, but even then they're just mere distractions. he's fortunate enough that he still has his idol peers to fall back on, but sandalphon probably doesn't have that luxury after what he'd done in his homeworld. izumi might be the only person right now who wants him around.
funny how a contract that's born out of necessity has evolved into something like this. three months feel so short yet so long at the same time.
he breaks the kiss after what seems like forever, burying his face onto the crook of his submissive's neck, hands moving down to hike up the back of sandalphon's shirt so that he can trail his fingers delicately up his back. ]
Did it actually hurt back then...? [ sandalphon would've looked beautiful back then when izumi had finally cut off his binds, red lines on fair skin, but... ] Tell me honestly.
[Sandalphon shudders as Izumi's hands run over particular spots on his back - even though his wings haven't manifested, it's still sensitive around where they are when they do.]
Not physically. The ropes were tight, but not painful.
[He was careful, even in his altered state. But emotionally - his pride suffered, for sure.]
[ that so... izumi's quiet again, his fingers raking up until he can take his shirt off him, so that he can thoroughly explore his back with butterfly touches. ]
Your skin looks perfect either way.
[ he can probably heal, in that case. izumi can't help but feel jealous of his own mortality now. ]
I did tell you that I'd be harsher the more we get closer with each other, but... Just let me know if I go too far. [ his hands now reach the scapula, where he thinks the wings should be. ] I don't want to keep breaking anyone else again.
[Sandalphon gasps at Izumi's touch, leaning slightly into him to give him better access to those sensitive spots just below his shoulders. When he does that, it's really difficult to keep his wings hidden...he wants those to be touched, too.
But he doesn't want to seem too desperate, so he holds back for now.]
As long as you don't pull a stunt like that again, I don't think that will be a problem.
[There are probably other things he could do...but Sandalphon's not especially interested in divulging those. He doesn't think Izumi would try them as he is normally, but if there's one thing he's learned from all this time in Duplicity, it's that he can't trust this place not to mess with people.]
...Izumi...did it really bother you so much that I never said your name?
[Of course, he's saying it now to reaffirm that he's heard and understands that desire, but it never occurred to him for a second that it'd bother him as much as it seemed to. It's never really bothered anyone on the Grandcypher, but...then again, none of the people he talks to regularly on the ship are quite like Izumi.]
[ is it a primal beast thing, he wonders. izumi can't promise that he won't pull a stunt like that again, though - this isn't the first time his more obsessive side came out to haunt somebody, and he doesn't doubt that it'll come back to him in some other form again. maybe it's not too late to push sandalphon away just so he won't hurt him anymore. ]
In most cultures back home, people would usually resort to first-name basis if they're close enough. You calling me your Dominant gave off the impression that you don't want to know more about me, and I do get that, but --
[ he snuggles closer, craving more of that touch, hands caressing the spots that would leave sandalphon breathless. ] It sounds nice though, my name from your lips. I just wish you won't hold back towards me anymore, if only because I'm mortal and you're not.
[ it must be hard though, for an angelic figure to just come down to earth like that. izumi's hardly down to earth himself, but he could help tether the angel down if sandalphon would let him. ]
...The Singularity, the girl in blue, the red dragon...I don't intend to work with them forever. Temporary arrangements don't require a first-name basis. And our contract will be even shorter than my time aboard the Grandcypher, I suspect.
[He suspects because he's fresh out of Paradise Lost, and he doesn't foresee everything wrapping up neatly in the course of a few months.]
I would rather sever a contract with someone I didn't get close to than have to end an arrangement with someone I...
[Care about.]
...Respect.
[Even as he speaks, Sandalphon's face begins to flush bright red, his breathing quickening in response to Izumi's touches. Ah, he can't take much more of this...he tangles his fingers in Izumi's hair, biting back a pleased whimper as his wings materialize all at once, trembling in desperation to be stroked.]
[ don't think he didn't catch that pause, sandalphon. oh well, izumi will take what he can get, since he understands how it can difficult to acknowledge how close you've become with someone else. that means more opportunities to hurt the more you know them.
he doesn't dwell on it too long though, his eyes widening in awe at the wings manifesting at his touch. he's never placed a hand on them before, hence the hesitation upon touching his down feathers. ]
...Does that mean you want to extend the contract with me?
[ he shifts on his submissive's lap, trying to hide any giddy feelings that might come out. ugh, pull yourself together. ]
I do "respect" you, you know. Among other things. If you'll give me another chance, I promise to do better this time around. [ izumi starts kissing along his shoulder, and up his neck until he reaches his ear to whisper. ] Let me prove myself to you, Sandalphon. For as long as you'll have me.
[Of course he's thought about it. Even from a solely practical perspective, isn't it better to stick with what he knows rather than risk a bad contract with someone else? And from a more personal standpoint...he likes Izumi. More than he's liked most people he's met. So the thought of extending their contract makes him happier than he's ready to admit.]
...Haha. That's awfully presumptuous of you.
[But the selfish part of him - and it's not a small part, by any means - has already decided that's exactly what it wants. And if Izumi is willing, too...if Izumi is the one bringing it up in the first place...]
Very well, then. But the supreme primarch's standards aren't easily met...so if you're so intent on proving yourself, don't hold back.
[Izumi had asked him to prove how much he wanted their contract the first time, too, but this is...
Ultimately, it's just a roundabout way of asking Izumi to prove to him that he's needed.]
[ supreme primarch... right, that memory he'd seen from sandalphon back then mentioned something about that, didn't it? does this mean he's grown into that role since then?
either way, nothing's sexier than confidence, and fully realizing that he's going to service someone of high stature is sending chills up izumi's spine. eyes gleaming, he stands up from sandalphon's lap and goes to sit down right behind him, so that he can take a much better look of his wings. ]
You should have those six wings if you're this supreme primarch now, right?
[ placing one more kiss on the nape of his neck, izumi's mouth travels down his back until he reaches his midsection and focuses on laving his tongue there, while lightly massaging the part where the wings jut out of his skin. ]
Well, it's all right. These ones aren't half-bad anyway. ♪
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beginning of march? waves hands vaguely
Date: 2019-02-25 10:26 pm (UTC)[He'll even let Izumi drink it again, maybe.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-25 10:36 pm (UTC)on one hand, izumi's surprised that sandalphon is able to swallow his pride and decides to reach out to him on his own volition. the fact that he made coffee for him again is a good sign -
but izumi's already occupied with his own bitterness, to the point where he's choosing to hole up in his room for today instead of going out to the city and avoid his submissive throughout the day. the music from the ipod he'd brought with him from back home contrasts with the static in his mind, but it's better than nothing.
so no, he's putting him on read and he's not even sorry. because why should he care now? ]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-25 11:13 pm (UTC)But after two hours of waiting, he's had enough, so he gets to his feet, starts a fresh batch of coffee, and goes to get his Dominant. Unsurprisingly, the door to his room is locked; leaving it open would make avoiding someone difficult. And really, the polite thing to do is knock, but what if he just ignores that, too?
So Sandalphon does the first thing that comes to mind, something Izumi can't possibly ignore, grasps the doorknob, and gives it a good, solid yank.
Primal beasts are strong. Even just a hug can be enough to trap a mortal in their arms with no chance of escape. So the door pops right off its hinge, and Sandalphon drops it like it's so much garbage on the ground, his other hand holding a cup of coffee as nonchalantly as he always is.]
...Izumi. Don't make me ask you again.
[Despite his aggressive wording, there's no hint of a threat in his voice. He just sounds tired.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-25 11:33 pm (UTC)then he says his name and izumi remembers why the fuck he's mad at him in the first place.
he glares at sandalphon, fists clenched; he knows that he's definitely no match for a primal beast who can rip him a new one with little to no effort, but by god does izumi want to deck him even if it'll rightfully kill him. ]
...I don't have any reason to speak with you. Get out.
[ no matter which way he looks at it, he's completely powerless against his own submsisive that it's pathetic. why won't sandalphon just leave him and his worthless pride be? ]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-25 11:54 pm (UTC)[He'd been hoping this would go better, but...this is about how it always goes, isn't it. Even when he tries to make himself understood, there's a gap between himself and others that he can't quite surmount...
Last time, he gave up, and everyone suffered for it. So maybe this time...]
...I owe you an apology. Will you at least let me give it to you?
no subject
Date: 2019-02-26 12:44 am (UTC)[ he's shaking. this.. this is unfair, he's supposed to apologize first but his pride simply wouldn't let him until the very last minute -- ]
Everything that happened back then was my fault, so why the hell are you apologizing for that? Didn't you realize that I went too far?
[ ...of course he did, which was why he wanted izumi to stop and set him free, but even now he couldn't do that. making him apologize is like trapping him in a decision he had no choice in, and isn't that like a prison in itself?
he looks down on the spot on the bed, sounding utterly defeated. ]
...It's fine. This is going to be our last month anyway. You'll be rid of me before you know it.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-26 02:31 am (UTC)[Sandalphon hesitates, unsure how to handle a conversation like this from this side of it. Only a short while ago he'd been telling Izumi not to behave too much like Lucifer, but...now that he thinks about it, he should have taken his own advice.
But he wanted to make up with Izumi more than he wanted another wound between himself and someone he knows to fester, because - ]
...I'm here apologizing to you because I don't want to be rid of you.
[Because without even realizing it himself, he'd come to appreciate just existing in the same building as Izumi when they both home. He didn't realize he liked it so much until this tension between them developed.
He's lost the relationship he treasured above all else; anything that might have been there between Lucifer and himself had died long before the supreme primarch did. He doesn't want this one to end in similarly disastrous fashion.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-26 03:12 am (UTC)he just didn't expect it to crack again with someone else. he'd only agreed to this contract in the first place out of convenience, and yet -- ]
And what, all of a sudden you care about me now?! Why do you even want to stay with me when I can't even take care of you properly like I promised you when we first met?
[ granted, that promise was just a jest at the time to butter sandalphon up, but the difference between acting a role for a stupid performance and right now is immense. izumi's has grown to tolerate the angel's quirks and imperfections over these past few months, and he'd greatly miss him too when their contract expires -- no, he wouldn't want him to leave either if he can help it.
but if he couldn't even protect and love the ones he'd cared for so long, he can't possibly do the same thing to someone who's not even human in the first place. ]
1/2
Date: 2019-02-26 03:50 am (UTC)[He said the worst thing he could think of. And it worked far better than he ever could have imagined.
The sound of Izumi choking back sobs, the feeling of his body trembling with sadness, it's all too vivid to ever forget, no matter how much he'd like to.]
2/2
Date: 2019-02-26 04:04 am (UTC)[The corners of his eyes prickle with heat, and he does his best to ignore it.]
...But even knowing about all that, you still wanted to take care of me. And that's all I needed. That's why I want to stay here with you, even after what happened at the fort.
[He's so selfish, so starved for affection, that he ate it up.]
Because even addled as you were, you were thinking of me.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-26 04:44 am (UTC)...That side of me - you weren't supposed to see that. Because that's how I used to treat Yuu-kun all those months ago. [ tying him down, locking him up in the school for days, forcing him to eat after leaving him there to starve - it wasn't a good time. ] I almost ruined the reputation of my unit after that, and even now it still chases me in the form of interviews and the like. The only reason why he even forgave me was because he was too kind.
[ he really would've gone to prison and lost his credibility as an idol and a model, two careers that mean too much to him. as much as being an idol fucking sucked for everyone, it gave him a purpose. ]
The truth is... I felt a certain kinship with you when we met again on that app, and once again during the holidays. And I was right -- you remind me so much of the people I've failed, and even though they're both here in this messed-up city, it still feels like I can't reach them.
[ leo already likes someone else, and makoto wants to keep a respectful distance from him so as not to get hurt again. izumi just can't win. ]
...People like us aren't alone. I wish to prove that to you, and it's why I want you to let me in.
[ because people who don't have blood on their hands, metaphorical or otherwise, wouldn't understand. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-26 06:55 pm (UTC)[Sandalphon finally enters the room, giving a glance over at the splintered wood on the threshold as though he isn't the one who demolished it in the first place, and sits next to Izumi on his bed, careful not to spill any of the coffee he's holding.]
...The last time I was tied up, it was to hold me in place while the Astrals tortured me. It didn't matter what I did to appease them, or whether I fought back...for all our power, we primal beasts were nothing more than playthings for our sadistically curious creators when they didn't need us to serve our purposes.
[Sandalphon's expression tightens, the corners of his mouth turning downward.]
And of course, as I already told you...I was never needed.
[He stares at his coffee cup like he's searching for the mysteries of the universe in it - anything to avoid eye contact. He doesn't want to insult Izumi's intelligence by clarifying that that's why he was so upset about the whole thing at the fort, but there's another reason he's talking about this, too.]
...That's the kind of baggage you'll be picking up. If you're really so determined, then I'll let you show me that resolve of yours. But if you have even a shadow of doubt about this, then forget about what I want and move on without me.
[It hurts a lot more than he anticipated to even imagine that, but it's only fair he tell Izumi what he's getting into.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-27 12:50 am (UTC)Jeez, it's like the fate of the entire world is in my hands now. I don't remember this in the contract we signed.
[ he sounds exasperated, but a wry smile shows that he's... not too fed up with this generic shonen manga plot. after all, leo had thought that no one else wanted him either.
izumi's not going to make the same mistake of running him through the ground either. ]
I told you not to underestimate me, didn't I? [ his hand reaches to close around sandalphon's free hand, squeezing it. ] I can't give you a purpose because you should be the one to find it on your own, but... I'll guide you through it. You don't have to spend a thousand more years on your own.
And only if you'll allow me, though. I'm too prideful, I'm never easily satisfied with anything, and I'm not a all-powerful being like you. I just want to be acknowledged like the knight that I am, even if I'm only acting like it... But even so, are you really willing to put up with me for just a little longer?
[ most people would've given up by now, he and his exceptionally high standards. he's going to continue being mean to sandalphon since that's just how he treats everyone, but apart from leo he just can't imagine anyone else who'd stick by him until he dies young like he always wanted. ]
Please. Let me make it up to you.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-27 01:59 am (UTC)But so is Izumi, so if anyone were going to reach for his hand like this, it may as well be him.
He hangs his head as he laces their fingers together, squeezing Izumi's hand just enough to be felt; he puts his mug of coffee on the floor and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. He wants to tell him how stupid he's being by agreeing to this, but he can't find the words. Because Sandalphon himself is just as stupid by asking a mortal to care for him in the first place.
When he responds, his voice is heavy with emotion. He really wasn't expecting Izumi to agree to stay with him.]
You really are a fool. It's not putting up with someone if they enjoy your company.
[It's not the same thing as admitting he enjoys Izumi's company.
It's not.]
...What did you have in mind?
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Date: 2019-02-27 03:04 am (UTC)just like how he didn't expect sandalphon to stick by him either, while sounding choked up all about it too. izumi doesn't feel like he himself deserve to see this side of him, but -
he shows a small smile, almost cheeky, before leaning forward to meet his lips with a kiss that's a bit too soft and sweet for both their liking. with some of the guilt lifted from izumi's shoulders now that they've reconciled, they could both use some gentleness with each other's bodies after everything they've been through in the fort and the journey back home.
so he shifts closer until he's sitting on the primal's lap, both hands on his shoulders as he deepens the kiss a bit more - he could get obsessed with this honestly, together with the scent of fresh coffee always present in the air. ]
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Date: 2019-03-01 02:06 am (UTC)It's not like they had sex every day before their falling out or anything, but after it happened and things grew distant between them, not even having the option to seek him out for comfort or conversation had been indescribably lonely. Now that they're on speaking terms again, Sandalphon wants to make sure to keep it that way - for the contract's sake, and for his own selfish desire for Izumi to want him around. So this time, he doesn't get impatient; he doesn't try to move things along quickly or get rough, the way he usually does.
This time, he follows his Dominant's lead, returning the kiss just as sweetly, tongue moving languidly against Izumi's and stroking his cheek with his thumb.]
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Date: 2019-03-01 03:29 am (UTC)funny how a contract that's born out of necessity has evolved into something like this. three months feel so short yet so long at the same time.
he breaks the kiss after what seems like forever, burying his face onto the crook of his submissive's neck, hands moving down to hike up the back of sandalphon's shirt so that he can trail his fingers delicately up his back. ]
Did it actually hurt back then...? [ sandalphon would've looked beautiful back then when izumi had finally cut off his binds, red lines on fair skin, but... ] Tell me honestly.
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Date: 2019-03-01 10:41 pm (UTC)Not physically. The ropes were tight, but not painful.
[He was careful, even in his altered state. But emotionally - his pride suffered, for sure.]
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Date: 2019-03-01 11:28 pm (UTC)Your skin looks perfect either way.
[ he can probably heal, in that case. izumi can't help but feel jealous of his own mortality now. ]
I did tell you that I'd be harsher the more we get closer with each other, but... Just let me know if I go too far. [ his hands now reach the scapula, where he thinks the wings should be. ] I don't want to keep breaking anyone else again.
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Date: 2019-03-02 01:16 am (UTC)But he doesn't want to seem too desperate, so he holds back for now.]
As long as you don't pull a stunt like that again, I don't think that will be a problem.
[There are probably other things he could do...but Sandalphon's not especially interested in divulging those. He doesn't think Izumi would try them as he is normally, but if there's one thing he's learned from all this time in Duplicity, it's that he can't trust this place not to mess with people.]
...Izumi...did it really bother you so much that I never said your name?
[Of course, he's saying it now to reaffirm that he's heard and understands that desire, but it never occurred to him for a second that it'd bother him as much as it seemed to. It's never really bothered anyone on the Grandcypher, but...then again, none of the people he talks to regularly on the ship are quite like Izumi.]
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Date: 2019-03-03 01:34 am (UTC)[ is it a primal beast thing, he wonders. izumi can't promise that he won't pull a stunt like that again, though - this isn't the first time his more obsessive side came out to haunt somebody, and he doesn't doubt that it'll come back to him in some other form again. maybe it's not too late to push sandalphon away just so he won't hurt him anymore. ]
In most cultures back home, people would usually resort to first-name basis if they're close enough. You calling me your Dominant gave off the impression that you don't want to know more about me, and I do get that, but --
[ he snuggles closer, craving more of that touch, hands caressing the spots that would leave sandalphon breathless. ] It sounds nice though, my name from your lips. I just wish you won't hold back towards me anymore, if only because I'm mortal and you're not.
[ it must be hard though, for an angelic figure to just come down to earth like that. izumi's hardly down to earth himself, but he could help tether the angel down if sandalphon would let him. ]
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Date: 2019-03-03 02:30 am (UTC)[He suspects because he's fresh out of Paradise Lost, and he doesn't foresee everything wrapping up neatly in the course of a few months.]
I would rather sever a contract with someone I didn't get close to than have to end an arrangement with someone I...
[Care about.]
...Respect.
[Even as he speaks, Sandalphon's face begins to flush bright red, his breathing quickening in response to Izumi's touches. Ah, he can't take much more of this...he tangles his fingers in Izumi's hair, biting back a pleased whimper as his wings materialize all at once, trembling in desperation to be stroked.]
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Date: 2019-03-03 03:45 am (UTC)he doesn't dwell on it too long though, his eyes widening in awe at the wings manifesting at his touch. he's never placed a hand on them before, hence the hesitation upon touching his down feathers. ]
...Does that mean you want to extend the contract with me?
[ he shifts on his submissive's lap, trying to hide any giddy feelings that might come out. ugh, pull yourself together. ]
I do "respect" you, you know. Among other things. If you'll give me another chance, I promise to do better this time around. [ izumi starts kissing along his shoulder, and up his neck until he reaches his ear to whisper. ] Let me prove myself to you, Sandalphon. For as long as you'll have me.
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Date: 2019-03-04 01:38 am (UTC)[Of course he's thought about it. Even from a solely practical perspective, isn't it better to stick with what he knows rather than risk a bad contract with someone else? And from a more personal standpoint...he likes Izumi. More than he's liked most people he's met. So the thought of extending their contract makes him happier than he's ready to admit.]
...Haha. That's awfully presumptuous of you.
[But the selfish part of him - and it's not a small part, by any means - has already decided that's exactly what it wants. And if Izumi is willing, too...if Izumi is the one bringing it up in the first place...]
Very well, then. But the supreme primarch's standards aren't easily met...so if you're so intent on proving yourself, don't hold back.
[Izumi had asked him to prove how much he wanted their contract the first time, too, but this is...
Ultimately, it's just a roundabout way of asking Izumi to prove to him that he's needed.]
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Date: 2019-03-04 11:03 am (UTC)either way, nothing's sexier than confidence, and fully realizing that he's going to service someone of high stature is sending chills up izumi's spine. eyes gleaming, he stands up from sandalphon's lap and goes to sit down right behind him, so that he can take a much better look of his wings. ]
You should have those six wings if you're this supreme primarch now, right?
[ placing one more kiss on the nape of his neck, izumi's mouth travels down his back until he reaches his midsection and focuses on laving his tongue there, while lightly massaging the part where the wings jut out of his skin. ]
Well, it's all right. These ones aren't half-bad anyway. ♪
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